Recently, I asked a few of my friends to describe my personality for a self discovery exercise I was working on. One of my friends said I was “happy go lucky”. Another said I was “loud and boisterous”. And a very good friend that I have known for over 15 years said that I was “amazingly addictive”, whatever that means. While assessing my virtues that were described by others, I was mostly in agreement of the adjectives they used to define what I am like. But, I was shocked by one of my friend’s critical answer—she called me “prudish”.
Me? Prudish? Like, really? I am so not a prude at all. I have a sense of humor, I love to laugh, and I can get downright nasty when it warrants it. So I was very taken aback by that title.
I asked her why she said I was prudish, and she told me this: “You don’t curse. You’ve never smoked a cigarette or tried drugs. You don’t drink for the most part. You don’t have any tattoos. You are very dainty and Southern Belle-ish. Simply stated, you are a prude.”
I wanted to slap the heifer (and I use that as a term of endearment) but she may have had a point. There may be an air about me that is standoffish or prudish because I do carry myself in a certain way, especially when I am first getting to know you. I have never smoked a cigarette in my life, that is true. And I have never experimented with drugs—I never inhaled or exhaled pot. I never wanted to. And as for tattoos, I never wanted one (here’s why). But does this really make me a prude?
{Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee, lousy with virginity….}
Let’s stop there. I was a teen mom. Pregnant at 17, gave birth at 18. So as far as that whole virginal thing until marriage, I left that a long time ago. And I would think that being a mom at the age I was would make me far from being a prude.
Not that being a prude is a bad thing. I mean, prudes aren’t bad people, are they? No. I just think of a prude as an ice queen, someone who doesn’t show emotion or one that gets embarrassed by sexuality or nasty jokes. I’ve never been one to get out of sorts when someone is brash or crude.
But I do have values. I do not curse, simply because I want to be a good example for my children. I always thought cursing was overrated, anyway. But if one doesn’t curse, or do drugs, or drink heavily, does that make them a freaking prude?
Hell, I love hip hop music, laced with profanity and misogyny. Would a prude listen to Kanye West, or Jay-Z, or Drake?
So, Liz, I have to disagree with you. I am 36 year old bombshell diva. And I am not a prude. If you have any complaints about that assessment, please address them to the manager.
PEACE!
What constitutes being a prude these days? Do I sound like a prude? Am I guilty of prude shaming? Am I in denial? Are you proud of being a prude? So many questions, so little time! Comment below and sound off!
I have to say, I don’t think that the word “prude” fits you, as you have described yourself here. I also have to say that while you may not be a “prude,” maybe there is another word that may describe you, and your friend couldn’t think of it and defaulted on prude. I get what she’s saying: no cursing, no tattoos, no smoking, seldom drinking may take someone aback when they find out about them; but I still don’t see a “prude” there. I see someone that may not take all the risks others may take in life, or someone that has convictions, which is never a bad thing. From one tattooed, wine-loving mom with a mouth like a sailor, I think you’re pretty great.
Amiyrah, I am still not sure how she came up with “prude” to describe me. I am actually waiting for her to read this post (I just linked her) so she can actually either change her tune or clue me in as to why that definition fit me. Regardless, she’s still a friend. I am just not sure that prude is an appropriate description for me. lol.
I want to leave a reply but not on facebook. what do I do (not a prude but like my privacy!)
I have been called a prude, too. I suppose that’s because I don’t discuss things of a sexual nature with everyone. And even if I do discuss those things, it depends on the environment in which we are talking about anything regarding sex. I like to joke and tease, but only in the right setting. I think that more about having manners and being responsible versus being a prude.
There is a difference with being lady-like & being a prude. Maybe she didn’t know what word to use.
There’s a difference between being a prude and being classy and in control. Maybe your friend is having trouble distinguishing between the two. I mean we live in a world where people wear their PJ’s to the grocery. So when someone comes along and says, “Hey, I can do better than that,” or “That’s not who I am,” people think you’re judgmental (even if you’re really not). And that’s where the “Prude” label comes in. Keep being who you are and keeping your head and standards high!
I’ve only know of you via here, twitter and FB and I definately do not get that about you. You appear to me to be very personable, happy-go-lucky and stylish may I add type of lady. But reading your post and going by what you said based off the post, I do not see prudeness at all. You do not have to be prude cause you never smoked, drink etc..if that’s the case you’re not by yourself I’m in that boat too. 🙂
Interesting post! I think you are not a prude at all. In fact, I admire that you do not curse. Did she report to your manager?
Thanks for sharing!
-Kim
Ok so when I read the title my honest 1st thought was “Yeah, I can see that, but that’s part of what I like about you ’cause I’m kinda one too”. I looked up the definition and it says:
prude [prood]
noun
a person who is excessively proper or modest in speech, conduct, dress, etc.
and well yeah, if that’s it then I could see how you {and I} both fit at times. Honestly nowadays in this “anything goes” culture it ain’t that hard to be considered prudish, proper, fancy, modest or whatever. I don’t care.