I’ve been 49 years old for almost a month now. I don’t feel any different than I did when I was 48, to be honest. There are no new aches or pains to report (yet), and I still do not believe I am now older than some people who seemed older than me. I’m at that age and frequently the oldest person in the group. This doesn’t bother me at all, though. I do wonder when it will begin. Perhaps when I turn 50? Or maybe 55? I know it will hit me at some point, but I still feel light, vibrant, youthful, and growing in wisdom. I like where I am in my life.
During my birthday weekend, moving my daughter back to college for her junior year was most important. Still, both of my kids managed to celebrate me during a beautiful birthday dinner at a rooftop on Times Square, and I can say that there were no two people I wanted to ring in my new year with than with them. They are the best thing I’ve ever created.
So here I am, a month into my 49th year on this earth, and I’ve found myself in a reflective mode. I’ve learned quite a bit, but I’ve also lost a lot of things and people. I’ve created memories and moments I will always treasure, repeated a mistake or three a few times, and found myself at the bottom more than a few times, only to work my way back up to the top. This life of mine is a beautiful mix of joy, gratitude, pain, loss, and redemption–and it’s mine. I love that for me.
I thought I would take a moment to list 49 Things I’ve Learned During My 49 Years as an ode to this body of work I’ve authored called My Life. If you are younger, you can use this list as something to look forward to or even avoid in some cases, and if you are my age or older, you may be able to relate.
Here we go…
No one will care quite like you do.
We are all worthy of love.
Don’t say yes to things that you want to say no to.
Avoid anything that will make you resentful later.
Love on your people unabashedly,
Be kind.
Lead with grace.
Parent through your imperfections.
Your kids will remember what you think they’ll forget, which will be good for them, too.
Secrets suppress.
Say I love you often.
Give hugs.
Be good to yourself.
Forgive yourself. Forgive others.
Take pictures.
Get in those pictures.
Be affectionate even when it’s hard.
Set boundaries.
Spend time alone with yourself.
Do things that scare you.
Do things that make you happy.
Never stop networking.
Impress yourself.
Don’t waste your time trying to impress others.
Take baths and light candles.
Be vulnerable.
Grow through your pain.
Send that text.
Make wise decisions with your money.
Travel often.
Ask for forgiveness and make amends.
Keep it simple.
Pour into yourself and others.
Sarcasm is usually a sign of a lack of confidence.
You can’t change others.
Read books or listen to them, or do both.
Tell the truth.
Do your best always.
Get enough sleep and rest.
Listen to your mother.
Enjoy your hobbies.
Fate is a real thing.
It hurts, but it will get better.
Don’t be afraid to love.
Go to the doctor regularly.
Drink water.
It’s okay to smile.
Plan for the future.
You are further along than you think.
I’ve learned more than those 49 things in my 49 years, but I think you get the drift. This list is a comprehensive guide to living a good life, and I’d like to think that I have been blessed enough to have experienced all these lessons. They’ve made me a pretty decent human being, and I look forward to continuing to learn for many more years to come.
Namaste!
This was such a heartfelt list! I loved the advice about being kind to yourself and embracing vulnerability—those are definitely lessons that have made a big difference for me too.