The Ten Commandments of Self-Care

Everyone and their mother talks about self-care and the importance of it for your mind, body, and soul, but most people don’t know how to administer it on a daily basis or make it a priority. The thought of doing it makes most of us feel good, but how many of us actually put in boundaries to make sure that we actually perform a self-care item on a regular and consistent basis?

Let this post be a guide to help you actually get self-care done, without guilt, worry, fear, etc. I am sharing the Ten Commandments of Self-Care as your foundational guide.

Thou Shall Understand Your Needs

Before you can develop your own self-care plan, you need to know what you actually need. What are your stressors? When do you feel anxiety? What are your triggers?

Before you can address your self-care needs, you need to understand what your needs are. For example: are you suffering from lack of sleep at night due to worry? That can be something that you can address with self-care.

Thou Shall Prioritize It

Now that you know what your needs are, it’s time to make your self-care plan a priority. Self-care doesn’t work until you actually put it in practice, so it takes making it a priority on your part to actually get it done. 

Right now, you are busier than ever, so in order to ensure that you administer self-care, it needs to be of the upmost importance.

Thou Shall Plan and Schedule It 

Which brings me to this commandment—plan. You put your appointments in your calendar and other important meetings and to-do’s. Take precedence over your self-care by planning it and adding it to your schedule on a regular basis.

Go ahead right now and take out your phone, or your planner, and type or pencil in at least 30 minutes of self-care time twice a week. Yes, twice a week! Put a reminder in your phone as well to make sure you don’t forget.

Thou Shall Create Boundaries

This part is where it can sometimes get tricky. In my Work Life Management plan Red Means Go, I expound on the importance of setting boundaries. Boundaries help you filter out distractions and make sure that your priorities are addresses accordingly. 

With your self-care, you will have to create boundaries to make sure they get done. For example, if your self-care tool this week is 30 minutes of meditation and quiet time, you will need to instill boundaries to make sure that you are able to have that time to yourself.

A boundary for this example is putting your phone on DND so you are not disturbed during this time. This boundary helps you make sure that your priority—your self-care need, is met.

If you want to work on creating a Work Life Management plan that helps you prioritize your non-negotiables while instilling boundaries and creating systems to make sure you are successful, purchase my Red Means Go Workbook. You can get it here.

[Red Means Go Workbook for better Work Life Management]

Thou Shall Not Feel Guilty

Here’s the rub—self-care is a non-negotiable, and you should never feel bad for taking care of yourself. One of the most important things you can do for your self-care is to not feel guilty about it. Do you think men feel guilty when they do things for themselves like go to the gym or out for a round of golf? Nope.

So you shouldn’t either, sister. There is no room for guilt when administering self-care in a healthy fashion. Never apologize for taking time to take care of yourself. Self-care is not a selfish act, no matter what you may think.

Thou Shall Know Your Stressors

I mentioned stressors earlier in this post, but it bears mentioning here. An important component of self-care is knowing how it can help affect you positively. Knowing your stressors can assist you in creating a self-care regimen that serves you mindfully.

Thou Shall Encourage Others 

Mastering your self-care needs also includes you helping others prioritize their self-care as well. Check up on your sisterhood of friends and family and remind them to take care of their self-care, too. Each one, teach one.

Thou Shall Be Mindful 

What you take in, you will surely process and possibly manifest in some type of way. As part of your self-care plan, you should be mindful of what you process throughout the day. Every news clip, movie, meme, video, song choice, conversation, etc. can have a positive or negative effect on you. Choose wisely. 

Thou Shall Do What’s Best for You

There are countless posts on social media and blogs about self-care and what it “should” look like. This post may be considered one of those said posts. But self-care isn’t a one-size-fits-all kind of thing. It is different for everyone.

I may consider my self-care needs for my physical as working out and doing yoga. You may consider it as a massage and a facial. We are both correct because it is based on our personal needs.

Don’t look at other people’s definition of self-care and think it should be yours, too. Your self-care is based on YOU, and you must do what’s best for you. 

Thou Shall Pivot

We’ve learned a lot about shifting and being resilient during this stressful time. When there are huge lifestyle changes and setbacks, you need to know how to adapt your self-care plan so that you still get your needs met without them becoming victim you inconsistency. If one of your self-care needs is to get a massage for stress and tension, but you are unable to because the spa where you get your massages is closed temporarily, then you have to come up with another way to relieve that stress and tension.

This may take some deep thinking and creativity, but you can surely come up with something. Can you order a personal massage chair and use that in your home? Can your significant other give you a massage until things begin to open back up?

Pivoting and being able to still address your wellness.

Now that you’ve read my Ten Commandments of Self-Care, make sure to put them into practice consistently. I hope that this post inspires you to take the steps necessary to make your self-care a priority.

What’s on your self-care plan?

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