While I am all for family, there are some times when you have to keep it grown and sexy in your relationship. Whether you are married, in a serious relationship, or dating, keeping it sexy and spicy will go a long way.
Recently, I had the pleasure of speaking with Shannon “Goody” Gooden who is an AIDS activist and intimacy consultant. Goody works with one-on-one with men, women, and couples who want to keep it sexy in their relationships. Her no-holds barred approach has helped many people get that old thing back, so to speak. Hear what Goody has to say about keeping the spice in their sex life:
Why do you feel couples are still shy when it comes communicating their needs in the bedroom?
I think that for the most part we (men and women) are afraid that if we voice a desire for something different than what our mate is already giving us, we will come off as dissatisfied or unhappy..This is NOT TRUE! As you evolve as a person your tastes in music and arts and even foods develop and change…so do your sexual appetites and preferences. Not necessarily because you’ve had it somewhere else and want to try it at home…but because you are maturing and want to open yourself to new sensations…WITH your partner…
What can “toys” do to enhance a relationship?
I like to call them “intimate accessories” because they enhance the act, they don’t replace it. There are some great accessories that are focused on couples and they’re not all battery operated or phallic shaped. Accessories, lubes and edibles allow for more intense communication, sexually.
What can a couple do to break the ice sexually?
I would suggest having a conversation about it ahead of time just to see where you stand on new ideas in the bedroom. Then, a game to lighten the mood…perhaps naughty dice or some other game for lovers. Ladies, if you want to introduce accessories into the bedroom, don’t get anything “bigger” than him and let him “catch you” using it when he comes out of the shower or something…these things tends to unfold on their own after that! *wink*
What tips can you give to women about enjoying themselves and their bodies?
WOW…this would be a book! lol…but i will just give 4 for now… 1 – My biggest tip would be to use lubricant! Battery operated accessories tend to slowly evaporate natural moisture and if you’re self-pleasing w/o batteries, wetter is still better! 2- Create a realistic fantasy in your head for your self love session that you might be able to act out with your mate later. 3 – Don’t be afraid to be loud…it’s a fact that your breathing during climax directly effects the heights you can reach. 4 – Make sure you CLEAN your toys (with the right toy cleaner) after you play with them.
What is a must have toy all women should have?
THE BULLET! No doubt! The bullet is an egg shaped vibrator that is primarily used for clitoral stimulation. I swear by it! It’s also a great toy to bring home if you’re trying to introduce something new in the bedroom to your man. They come in a variety of speeds and colors…there are attachments and sleeves…I even sell one that connects to your mp3 player so you can literally LOVE your favorite song! (link NSFW)
Goody has also given me the opportunity to offer one lucky reader a Heart Throb Love Kit containing: Heat up your love life with the Heart Throb Love Kit! Kit includes 1 vibrating c-ring/G-spot stimulator, 1 bullet vibe with Silicone finger sleeve massager, 3 flavored condoms, 1 Lotto Love Scratcher game, 2 Oralicious flavored lube pillow packs, 1 Liquid Virgin pillow pack, and 1 Orgasmix pillow pack. This adorable tin heart contains everything you need to spark some new passion!
To enter, all you have to do is follow Shannon on Twitter and ‘Like’ The Cubicle Chick on Facebook. Also, leave a comment below letting us know why you want to win the Heart Throb Love Kit. Make sure to include your email address when commenting. One winner will be selected on 2/11/11 after 6pm CST. Giveaway open to U.S. residents only, must be 18 years or older to enter.
You can visit Goody’s online store, click HERE.
VivaLaBrandi says
my bullets always get shorts in them :/, I think I’m supposed to take the batteries out when not in use maybe :(. anywho that’s why I want to win :)… I already “like” you & I just followed her.
pppssstttt….. you should make a note that they can not comment more than once, it’s not fair to others.
The Cubicle Chick says
@Brandi, even when people add more than one comment, I only enter their name once, unless the giveaway specifies they can leave more than one comment to increase their entries. No worries.
P-Nut says
i want to enter to win the love kit and i cant wait to get it if i win gonna keep vday grown and sexy!!!!
Too Sweet says
I’m entering on the down low…I would like that basket because I’m shy and it will help me express myself in ways that would be beneficial to BOTH parties involved 😉
Nightfall says
Love what you’ve been up to. 🙂 Let me take a shot at this. I’m always down for something new. Plus I have my camera and tripod ready to record the experience. 😉
MrsTDJ says
I’d love to win the gift basket to spice up things with the hubster! I’ve like “The Cubicle Chick” on facebook, but I don’t use twitter.
William Zorn says
I want to win the Heart Throb Love Kit.
William Zorn says
I followed on twitter and Liked on Facebook. The gift basket looks great!
Todd says
Followed and liked and ready to win.
misstresss says
I would love to win this basket because vibrating things are fun!
liked on facebook and following on twitter @ellaanachronism
VCB (officediva1) says
I would love the basket because adding something new and different on occasion is a great way to keep things real sexy in your relationship.
Nicole says
Love it, V-day baskets with fun stuff!
msladyjj says
My husband is sitting on the couch next to me as I type this. He’s watching basketball. I think if we had this basket, we might not be on the couch WATCHING BASKETBALL right now! LOL I would love to win the Heart Thob Love Kit, because it would be something new, fun and exciting..Hey, a lil spice won’t hurt! I liked The Cubicle Chick on FB some time ago, and I’ve been followed Shannon on twitter also.
Thanks for this post. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have searched for this info on my own, but I definitly find it interesting.
Zoe says
I want to win the Heart Throb prize pack cause a little spice is always nice. Happy Valentine’s Day all.
Donna K says
It would be nice to try something new.
Kelly D. says
I follow on twitter (@dkad23) and like on facebook (Kelly Deaton). I’d like to win b/c it’s always nice to spice things up! and maybe if I’m feeling generous, I’ll give it to my sis as a gift for her bachlorette party! Thanks for the chance!
Kelly D. ~ dkad23(at)gmail(dot)com