Written By: Daree Allen, TheCubicleChick.com Guest Blogger
“Ummm, well I’m working at [COMPANY NAME REDACTED], doing the same thing I’ve been doing for years. I’m a [TITLE REDACTED]. I probably always will be. Pretty sorry, huh?”
Those sentiments came from an old friend of mine that I recently caught up with. I’ve reconnected with her on Facebook, but haven’t seen or talked to her in over 5 years. The wife and mother of two, who I’ll call Joya, was feeling stuck and hopeless. But let’s go back a little further in that same conversation.
I told Joya that I was relocating from Virginia Beach to Atlanta in less than two months.
Joya: What made you decide to move there?”
Me: I just finally made the decision once and for all. I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of years but always made up an excuse why I couldn’t move. Money. Family. My house. But in December I decided that was one thing I was going to do in 2010, even though I didn’t quite have it all figured out.”
Joya: “That’s GOOD, Daree. I’m really proud of you… I wish I could do that.”
THE “THAT’S JUST THE WAY IT IS” MENTALITY
At that point I asked her where she was working these days and what was going on.
Joya: “Yeah—I’m doing the same thing I was doing the last time we talked.”
I’m not a life coach per se, but I turn into one subconsciously with my closest friends. She sounded like she was settling and clearly she was unhappy at her workplace. “OK, so if you could do anything what would you like to do instead?”
Joya: [Without hesitation] “I’d love to be a designer, decorate houses, or do what they do on those shows on HGTV, or maybe staging houses like they do on Sell This House. But there’s no market for it here, and my husband doesn’t want to move.” (Joya and her family live in an area of New York State that has never been known as a place bustling with career opportunities.)
Me: [Getting excited] “You know what? I know what you mean about [CITY REDACTED] being dead. But what seems like a lack of opportunity could work in your favor. You could play it to your advantage.”
Here was my rationale: I told her to think about it—there will always be people who like art and are willing to buy it for the right price. Don’t you know someone whose home is always immaculate with nice things? And even though the real estate market is sad right now, some people ARE still buying and selling homes. Not only that, but lots of people have a side hustle these days, and sometimes that hustle turns into the main gig. So I never begrudge small beginnings or big ideas.
Joya: “I wouldn’t even know where to start. I have no idea what to do.”
Whenever you decide to do something new, it can seem overwhelming. If you have a vision of where you want to go and what you want to achieve, you don’t necessarily understand all the steps and hard work it will take to get there, and how long it can take. Everyone doesn’t accomplish their goals because everyone doesn’t have the tenacity to A) decide and commit to making a change, and B) following through on that change. Don’t settle for thinking, “This is the way it is right now, this is the way it’s always been, and it’s the way it will always be.” If you keep thinking that way and don’t take any action, you’ll be 100% correct.
DIGGING OUT
So what do you do if you want to change careers (or even change your lifestyle)? First you have to start by changing your attitude. Then you have to get to work. Here’s what I told Joya:
Do some research. Take 30-60 minutes that you normally fritter away on a Facebook game or a gossip website, and search for:
- Local (within 100+ miles) industry associations, fairs, trade shows, craft shows
- Meetups or Tweetups related to your interest
- Do advanced searches on social media sites (Linkedin, etc.) for discussion groups on your field of interest.
Joining and participating in active groups will allow you to learn about the industry and eventually network enough to build contacts, get support, and share information. People are happy to give advice and share information in their area of expertise online and offline.
You can also subscribe to a business magazine or trade journal directly related to your desired field of interest.
That’s where you start. From there you will learn more and be able to fashion (pun intended) a plan for success.
Joya: “Wow Daree, this is really great. Thank you so much—I feel so inspired now. I’m going to do what you said.”
Me: “I’m hoping it won’t be another 5 years before we talk again, but in the meantime, you need an accountability partner.”
DON’T LOSE MOMENTUM
If you are working on a lofty goal, break it down into small steps so you don’t feel overwhelmed. Join an interest group. Say affirmations. Surround yourself with positive people. Find someone who will keep you accountable, whether it’s a spouse, partner, parent, life coach, or a friend. As long as the person supports you, understands what you’re trying to accomplish (so they can be on the lookout and serve as an objective guide), and checks in with you to encourage you and hold you to your steps (maybe even kicking you in the butt every week or two when you need it), you will stay motivated.
I love to share my personal development stories and truths with people, because it gives me a chance to be positive (I admit I’m not a naturally positive woman). What do you tell yourself? Do you have some professional or personal changes that you need to make to get out of a rut?
Daree Allen is a technical writer, freelancer, and motivational speaker. She is currently writing a self-help book for teen girls. You can reach her at her website, “D.elivering A. R.ich, E.mpowering E.xperience” (http://DareeAllen.com), and her personal development blog, “Daree’s Insights” (http://dareesinsights.wordpress.com).
Tissa says
I LOVE this article. Like Joya, I sometimes have limiting beliefs. My problem is trying to see the whole picture. I get discouraged from pushing forward because I want to know how things will pan out and I fill my mind with "what if"s. I know exactly what I need to do. I just need to get on it.
Wordyless says
I really enjoyed reading this article. I have posted a link to it on my Facebook page as a resource to my friends who are either unemployed or feeling stuck in their current situation.