No Phone Sex In The Cubicle

Before you scoff at the title of this post, yes it happens. More than you think. And once, I was the unlikely witness of said activity in the office and it turned into an offense that she (my co-worker) eventually got fired for.

I was working for a tax resolution firm in 2006, and many times, because of laws and such, our phone calls were recorded. “For quality assurance purposes”. But really, they were being recorded to make sure we were conducting actual business on the phone and not speaking to our Auntie Mary Sue in D.C., since we were required to hit three hours of phone time daily, and sometimes struggled to hit that target. Anyway, all of the associates were required to have a weekly meeting when we would go over various cases, laws, and such. In the meeting, the General Manager (also known as Atilla the Hun) decided to play examples of phone calls with clients. Some of the calls were good. And some…well….

They played my phone call which was pretty bad. I was rushing a client off of the phone (because we were being called into yet ANOTHER meeting and I was being told to get off the phone). But of course when they pulled up the phone call, that didn’t matter. So after being chastised about my poor phone performance, she went to the next Associate.

And….well….

The call started off rather pleasantly. But you could tell from the beginning that this call was not one with a client. It seems that this female associate decided to call her boo and discuss what they were going to do that night. And then it got graphic. He began asking her what she had on, who was in the office, and if she could close her door. And after that, got even more explicit with him telling her to put her hands down her pants and “make it hum for him”. I was so embarrassed for her! But instead of turning off the phone call, the General Manager allowed the call to continue and before you knew it, heavy panting, moaning, and breathing was in full force.

He climaxed on the phone. Oh the horror!

So be wise Cubicle Chicks and Dudes. Phone Sex, Phone Boning is wonderful. But never do it from an office phone.

FIN